Ask the Expert JT Aug2026 Parkinsons

Q: My husband was recently diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. Since then, it feels like everything has become about doctor’s appointments, medications, and what he can no longer do. How can I help him stay hopeful—and how do I stay hopeful myself?

A: I am so glad you reached out because this question and your experience are shared by so many people with a loved one diagnosed with Parkinson’s. One thing I like to tell clients is: A Parkinson’s diagnosis changes our life, but it doesn’t define it.

When we first hear the word Parkinson’s, our minds often go straight to the physical symptoms: tremors, stiffness, changes in movement, and the progressive nature of the disease. These challenges are very real, but focusing only on the medical side of Parkinson’s can mean we might overlook the person who is living with it.

I recently attended the 42nd Annual Aging Life Care Association Conference and listened to the presentation by Dr. Allan Cole: “Resilience, Hope, and Parkinson’s.” One of the most meaningful ideas shared by Dr. Cole, who lives with Parkinson’s himself, is the distinction between disease and illness. Disease is what physicians diagnose and treat. Illness is the personal experience of living with that disease. It includes the emotional, social, and spiritual questions that naturally arise: Who am I now? What does this mean for my future? How do I continue living a meaningful life?

Supporting someone with Parkinson’s means caring for both.

Parkinson’s is often described as a “loss-based” condition because people experience many changes over time. There may be losses in mobility, independence, work, routines, or even confidence. Those losses deserve to be acknowledged rather than minimized. At the same time, it is equally important to recognize what has not been lost.

A diagnosis does not erase a person’s identity. They are still a spouse, parent, grandparent, friend, volunteer, artist, gardener, musician, or neighbor. Those roles continue to matter.

Dr. Cole encourages people to focus on what they can still control. While no one can choose a diagnosis, we can often choose how we respond to it. We can decide how we spend our time, who we connect with, what brings us purpose, and how we care for ourselves. These choices restore a sense of agency when so much else feels uncertain.

Community also plays a tremendous role in resilience. Parkinson’s can be an isolating disease, particularly if people begin withdrawing from activities they once enjoyed. Staying connected with family, friends, exercise groups, support groups, or faith communities reminds people that they are not facing this journey alone. Research consistently shows that strong social connections contribute to better emotional well-being and quality of life for people living with chronic illness.

As caregivers, we sometimes feel pressure to fix everything. The truth is, some things cannot be fixed—but they can be faced together. Sometimes the greatest gift we offer is our presence. Listening without immediately trying to solve a problem, encouraging independence when possible, celebrating small victories, and making room for laughter all help preserve dignity and hope.

Hope itself is often misunderstood. It’s not pretending everything is fine or denying that life has changed. Hope is choosing to believe that life can still contain joy, purpose, and meaningful moments despite those changes.

Dr. Cole begins each day with a few simple reminders: to be grateful for another day, to do his best with the day he has been given, to focus on both his strengths and his needs, and to intentionally choose hope. Gratitude and hope, he suggests, grow together.

If you love someone with Parkinson’s, remember this: your role is not simply to help manage a disease. It is to continue seeing—and helping them see—the whole person behind the diagnosis.

Parkinson’s changes life, but it doesn’t erase the possibility of connection, purpose, growth, or joy. With compassionate care, meaningful relationships, and a willingness to adapt, individuals and families can continue building rich, fulfilling, and deeply meaningful lives.

Find Support for Your Loved One—and Yourself

You don’t have to navigate every change alone. CaregiverNC helps families throughout North Carolina connect with screened, independent caregivers whose skills and availability fit their needs. Whether you’re exploring help now or planning ahead, we’re here to help you take the next step.

Contact CaregiverNC or call (910) 692-0683 to discuss your family’s needs.